The sin of serious

I have to admit that this is one cultural aspect I find very difficult to adjust to.  Basically, if you are ever not jumping up and down, super energetic, and smiling, someone will come up to you with a concerned look on your face and ask you if you are "serious."

It all stems from the basic idea of sanuk, a word deeply entrenched in the Thai mentality.  There is no one way to describe sanuk, but the essence of the word is fun.  It is incorporating fun, happiness, and lightheartedness into all parts of your daily life.  For foreigners, this can be extremely frustrating.  This is why "Thai time" exists--and yes, it certainly rivals "island time."  Nobody is in much of a hurry to get things done, and if there are any issues, you just laugh them off.  Oh, you just got told that you have to teach a class on a new topic, and you have 5 minutes to prepare?  Isn't that hilarious!

So the laughing/smiling culture is intimately connected to sanuk.  The issue for me is when I don't feel in a smiley or giggly mood.  Sometimes I think this is totally justified.  Like last week after grandpa died, I looked like shit, and many times I was told I looked "serious."  And while in our culture "serious" would be ok, here it is sort of an accusation--I should look happy...always.  Luckily, they understood why I was "serious" last week, and let it slide.

But then there are days like today.  I am stressed out with work, just having a long day.  My coworker gives me a bunch of crap to do (she should have told me about it at the beginning of the semester, but never did, so now I have hours of "catch up" work to do and she is demanding it ASAP). I am tired.  In general, it is not the best day.  And it shows.  But then I am accosted with many people asking if I am "serious."  And even if they meant you-look-focused-on-your-work-serious, this still is considered rude and borderline unacceptable.

I understand the cultural differences, and I do strive to meet the local expectations.  I smile, I wave, I giggle, etc.  I try to control myself when I catch my students cheating (even then to be "serious" is not ok--you have to smile and pretend there is no problem).  I keep my energy as high as I can manage.

But at the end of the day, I wish that there was some allowance for me to be me, rather than the Stepford version of me.